On the journey of becoming my best self, I realized it’s rarely about having all the right answers. It’s almost always about asking the right questions: the ones that pull you deep into your true self, into your soul.
Building my life from the ground up was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And yes, I had to do it because one thing harder than growth was giving up on the version of myself I knew I could become.
Self-discovery was a huge part of my journey because not only was I very young, I also had a completely broken sense of identity and no sense of direction or purpose in life.
That was when I first learned about the concept of a higher self.
Your higher self is your most aligned, evolved and authentic self. She represents your greatest potential and leads you toward the life you’re meant to live.
It’s a version of you that you never have to reach—but by striving to align with her, you step into your truest potential and start creating a life you genuinely love.
Whether you call it your higher self or your best self, that vision and energy are here to guide you, inspire you, and become your own unique role model. Just remember: if you can imagine her, it’s because she already exists within you.
Even when I had no idea who I was, I could imagine her clearly by tapping into my soul. She was kind, confident, joyful, and wise—radiating everything I hoped to embody one day. She felt worlds away from who I was then, but still… she felt like me. The best version I could ever grow into.
And maybe that’s where you are right now, somewhere between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming. Maybe you’ve outgrown your old self or life made you question everything.
You’re trying to remember who you are and what you truly want.
That’s where these self-reflection questions come in. The kind that helps you listen to the quiet voice of your soul. The ones that gently uncover your true self, bringing clarity and helping you understand who you truly are and who you’re meant to become.
Before you dive into the questions below, take a deep breath.
Take your time and consider writing your answers down. Don’t try to be modest, but don’t let your ego take the lead either. Focus on your heart space. Tune into the unique frequency of your soul. Be honest, be open, and let your highest self respond—she already knows all the answers.
1. What kind of life would make me truly fulfilled?
Close your eyes and imagine your dream life. Don’t hold back—visualize everything you want from achievements, love, relationships, success and experiences.
There are no limits to what you can achieve, but you must consider the deeper truth behind your desires. Many people chase things like wealth, fame or status, but these things rarely make life fulfilled.
True fulfillment comes from things that resonate with your soul—unconditional love, a purposeful career, meaningful relationships, and an authentic life.
So, what are the things that would truly make you feel fulfilled? What does a life of deep, lasting contentment and joy look like to you?
2. What kind of person do I want to become?
Who do you want to be? Imagine the best version of yourself, without holding back. What are they like? This version of you is a combination of your natural traits and strengths, fully expressed, while your weaknesses diminish.
Consider the energy this version of yourself holds—what is their vibe?
Feel the person you want to embody, and allow that image to guide you toward the person you’re meant to become.
3. What values do I want to embody?
Connecting to your values is the beginning of all soul work. Think about what matters most to you and ask yourself why. What do you deeply care about, and what values feel aligned with the life you want to live and the person you want to become?
Consider values such as kindness, honesty, integrity, authenticity, compassion, and respect. What do these values mean to you? What would happen if you allowed these values to guide your decisions and actions every day?
Reflect on how living according to your core values would shape your experiences, relationships, and the life you wish to create. How would it feel to walk through life knowing you’re honoring what truly matters to your soul?
4. What things do I want to achieve and experience during my life?
Take a moment and think about the time you have on this earth. What do you want your life to be like? What do you want to accomplish?
Are there any things you absolutely must achieve in order to be happy?
Picture a moment at the end of your life.
You look back and feel proud of how you spent your time and energy. What goals and dreams have you achieved?
These could be career milestones, travel experiences, personal growth moments, or creating deep, loving relationships. What does your soul crave to experience in this lifetime?
5. What do I need to do to become this person and live this life?
This is where it all becomes real. What actions do you need to take to create the life you truly desire? This question allows you to visualize not only your plan of action but also helps you see if your goals are aligned with who you truly are.
A lot of people have dreams of becoming very wealthy, and although that’s completely reasonable, there’s so much more to consider.
Simply wanting to be rich is an empty dream. It is a desire of the mind for the ultimate comfort zone, not a desire of your soul. And remember what happens when people stay in the comfort zone for too long? They get depressed because there’s no meaning in the comfort zone.
The point of self-discovery is finding your very own meaning in life. The desires of your unique soul, not simply following societal expectations and meaningless life paths.
The answer to this question is not singular. You can answer it over and over every day and it might always be different because you take new steps every day.
Ask yourself: What steps do I need to take today to get closer to my best life?
6. What things about myself do I need to change?
We all have flaws, no matter how long we’ve been growing into our best selves. We’re all human, and life constantly presents both internal and external challenges, pushing us to evolve.
The key to personal growth and building your dream life is embracing the journey of becoming a better version of yourself, and that includes minimizing the impact of your flaws.
What negative patterns keep showing up in your life? What weaknesses or behaviors do you notice repeating? How do you treat yourself and others?
Self-awareness and self-reflection are absolutely key for self-improvement and real inner transformation cannot happen without them. If you find it challenging to reflect on your flaws yourself, consider talking to a close friend, family member, or a therapist.
7. What type of habits does this new version of me have?
Habits are repeated testaments to the person you want to be and the life you want to build. So, what kind of habits do you need to have in order to create a life you love?
Your best self has certain habits, routines, and actions they practice every day. What are those habits? Go beyond the basics like eating healthy or exercising—habits could also include setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, or practicing mindfulness. Take a moment to understand what habits your dream life is built upon.
Similar to wanting wealth, a lot of people say they wish they could just do nothing all day. Although our modern lifestyle is definitely too fast and preoccupied, simply doing nothing is just a response to burnout, but not what is actually best for us.
Reflect on what habits would make you happiest while also taking optimal care of your body and mind.
8. What personality traits does she embody?
At the beginnining of my journey, I had no idea who I was, so I wondered, What personality traits does the person I want to become have?
I remeber thinking, “Well, I don’t know much, but I know I’m definitely a kind person!”
Even knowing 1 single positive trait about yourself can help you tune into your unique frequency and get you to imagine what your best self would be like.
So, how does your best self feel?
Are they confident, peaceful, resilient, joyful, or loving? Perhaps they are patient, ambitious, curious, empathetic, or enthusiastic? Do they approach life with a sense of calm, or do they radiate energy and excitement?
Whatever traits you feel resonate with you are likely aligned with who you truly are on the soul level.
9. How does she see herself, life and other people?
This question will help you see how you want to show up in the world, your outward expression of your true self.
What’s their attitude toward other people—are they open, accepting, and compassionate? How do they approach relationships, and what are they finding in them? How do they view life and the world around them?
10. What kind of impact on the world do I want to have?
Another major aspect of your external reality will be your impact on it.
Do you envision yourself having a large impact on the world, making a difference with your work, or do you see your best self focused on family, friends, and personal growth?
If so, are you restricting your potential, or do you truly see your purpose in a more laid-back, calm and simple life? Both paths are valid, but what’s important is being honest with yourself about what kind of impact you want to make.
11. Am I willing to let go of my old self in order to become her?
Now this is the one. This is the question I am still trying to answer. Are you willing to let go of everything that isn’t aligned with your best self in order to become her?
It seems natural you would say ‘yes’ when you consider the promise of everything you will gain in your best life. But this is easier said than done.
Throughout my journey, I’ve had to let go of so many versions of myself that I’ve come to love even when no one else did. They were the versions of me that saved me, that picked me up, showed me what I’m worth and that taught me what love is.
It felt like grief to say goodbye to them, but I knew that on the other side of that release, there is freedom. There is the promise of stepping into the life you are truly meant to live, where all the versions of yourself that you once outgrew make way for the most authentic, true you.
So, I invite you to ask yourself one last time: Am I willing to let go? Say YES. We must be willing to let go of the past, because what lies ahead is the version of ourselves we have been dreaming about all along.
Final Words
As you walk on this path of self-discovery and growth, I want you to carry a few truths with you.
You are capable of becoming everything you dream of.
Your desires and dreams exist in your heart for a reason.
Being challenged is a blessing in disguise, because without a push from the Universe, you would never have a reason to align with your best self.
So continue this path with courage and dedication, knowing that this is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. The person you are meant to become is already within you, just waiting to be discovered.
